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Meg Josephson is a psychotherapist and the author of the instant New York Times bestseller, Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Other People Think and Start Living for You.

I’m not surprised that this book and Meg’s approach has struck such a nerve in the culture. I certainly relate, and suspect many of you will, too.

Today, we’re talking about the fawn response that Meg writes about and helps her clients with. You’re likely familiar with the other responses: fight, flight, freeze, and perhaps faint.

The fawn response has a lot to do with people-pleasing tendencies; with a desire to be liked; and with a desire to keep the peace in a given situation. If you worry about disappointing other people…if you worry about other people being mad at you…if you’re like me and your first thought is often, Am I in trouble? — You may be prone to the fawn response.

As we talk about today, the fawn response is really a protective and wise strategy that many of us have learned and used to keep ourselves safe. And at the same time, we may have gotten to the point where we are overusing it, and we may want to choose something else for ourselves and our relationships.

So, Meg breaks down what she sees as the five archetypes or behavioral patterns typically associated with the fawn response—because this can look different for different people. And we also talk about what underlies these archetypes; and how—in recognizing ourselves in them—we can also begin to expand into new ways of being, and into new relationship patterns.

I loved talking to Meg about all of this.

Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Other People Think and Start Living for You

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