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Elise's Newsletter
Oliver Buchannon
Elise Loehnen

I'm the author of the NYTimes bestseller On Our Best Behavior and the host of Pulling the Thread.

Pulling the Thread Podcast

A Life Update (Monthly Solo)

Jul 2, 2026

•

1 min read

A Life Update (Monthly Solo)

Listen now (54 mins) | "I spent the past month..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Relationships

+2

Getting Out of the Unconscious Loyalty Trap (Mark Wolynn)

Jun 25, 2026

•

32 min read

Getting Out of the Unconscious Loyalty Trap (Mark Wolynn)

Listen now (64 mins) | "Well, the first thing that's going on is we're creating new neural pathways in our brain of a new experience and really a new way our brain is performing."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Creativity & Career

+1

Reckoning with the End of a Relationship (Belle Burden)

Jun 18, 2026

•

28 min read

Reckoning with the End of a Relationship (Belle Burden)

Listen now (60 mins) | "And I thought, how am I going to stop what is now really a pattern? Three generations, this is a pattern. And how do I stop this for my kids?"

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Relationships

+1

What's Behind Lasting Attraction? (Paul Eastwick, PhD)

Jun 11, 2026

•

32 min read

What's Behind Lasting Attraction? (Paul Eastwick, PhD)

Listen now (64 mins) | "Off the rails is a good description of the thing because if you look at the history of work in evolutionary psychology, there is precision about where..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

+2

Why Women Need Fairytales Now (Sharon Blackie, PhD)

Jun 4, 2026

•

32 min read

Why Women Need Fairytales Now (Sharon Blackie, PhD)

Listen now (64 mins) | "And I have found certainly as I kind of look back at my own life that fairytales in lots of ways have mapped it. The particular stories and images..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

+2

What Dark Retreat Offers (Andrew Holocek)

May 28, 2026

•

33 min read

What Dark Retreat Offers (Andrew Holocek)

Listen now (58 mins) | "Because then it helps you see that, oh my gosh, I spend my entire life distracting from these primordial really uncomfortable feelings. And if I can bring them into the..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Creativity & Career

The Trust Fall

May 27, 2026

•

7 min read

The Trust Fall

I've really never, ever cared for these.

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

Taking Your Foot Off the Gas (Monthly Solo)

May 25, 2026

•

15 min read

Taking Your Foot Off the Gas (Monthly Solo)

Listen now (28 mins)

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

+2

Designing Your Own Ritual (Bruce Feiler)

May 21, 2026

•

33 min read

Designing Your Own Ritual (Bruce Feiler)

Listen now (60 mins) | "I ran the numbers on this. You ran up births and deaths and marriages. The average person in 1800 had 80% more ritual occasions than we have today. So it took..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Creativity & Career

The Clipping Economy

May 21, 2026

•

6 min read

The Clipping Economy

Manufactured virality and what that means for the rest of us.

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

+1

The Most Dangerous Idea Ever Created (Ibram X. Kendi, PhD)

May 14, 2026

•

21 min read

The Most Dangerous Idea Ever Created (Ibram X. Kendi, PhD)

Listen now (47 mins) | "And that is the single most dangerous idea that humans, in my opinion, have ever created because it will continuously lead to political violence to genocide..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

Not Operating by the Checklist (Stacey London)

May 7, 2026

•

33 min read

Not Operating by the Checklist (Stacey London)

Listen now (58 mins) | "There's something a beautiful about. This age, this time that actually did propel me to want to really start looking at this and really, really start doing..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Creativity & Career

+1

Can We Stop Using this Phrase?

May 6, 2026

•

6 min read

Can We Stop Using this Phrase?

The quest continues to de-couple these roles.

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

Solving Medical Mysteries—and the Diagnosis Crisis (Alexandra Sifferlin)
LockSimple

Apr 30, 2026

•

26 min read

Solving Medical Mysteries—and the Diagnosis Crisis (Alexandra Sifferlin)

Listen now (58 mins) | "What’s great about this program too is that many of the experts involved in it, it’s run by this physician, Dr. William Gall, will be very frank with the patient..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Relationships

Navigating Anxiety
LockSimple

Apr 29, 2026

•

5 min read

Navigating Anxiety

Learning to trust what it signals—and ways to turn it down.

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

Could We Accept Stillness? (Monthly Solo)
LockSimple

Apr 27, 2026

•

18 min read

Could We Accept Stillness? (Monthly Solo)

Listen now (42 mins)

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Mysticism & Spirituality

+4

What's Your Why? (Rachel Goldberg-Polin)
LockSimple

Apr 22, 2026

•

29 min read

What's Your Why? (Rachel Goldberg-Polin)

Listen now (67 mins) | "So the first thing that I’ll say about faith is that it’s incredibly challenging for any of us to describe how we feel about this universe and how it’s organized..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Relationships

+1

Understanding—and Even Changing—Your Attachment Style (Amir Levine M.D.)
LockSimple

Apr 16, 2026

•

34 min read

Understanding—and Even Changing—Your Attachment Style (Amir Levine M.D.)

Listen now (56 mins) | So I think the research overwhelmingly shows that people who are secure, the benefits are really far and wide, not just in relationships, also for us ourselves, for how..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Creativity & Career

Are You a Seeder, Grower, or Harvester?
LockSimple

Apr 15, 2026

•

5 min read

Are You a Seeder, Grower, or Harvester?

Figuring out what's what in this current void.

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Mysticism & Spirituality

+1

What's Your Karma? (Janine Slome)
LockSimple

Apr 9, 2026

•

29 min read

What's Your Karma? (Janine Slome)

Listen now (55 mins) | "For me, the numerology chart holds the entire blueprint, the full-blown potential for your life and for your incarnation in this lifetime, whether you choose to work with..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Relationships

A Quick Gratitude Shift
LockSimple

Apr 8, 2026

•

3 min read

A Quick Gratitude Shift

A helpful tool for re-orienting yourself when thankfulness seems hard.

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Trauma & Addiction

+2

What Matters More Than the Epiphany Moment (Eric Zimmer)
LockSimple

Apr 2, 2026

•

29 min read

What Matters More Than the Epiphany Moment (Eric Zimmer)

Listen now (55 mins) } "So I went back and I said, 'All right, I’ll go to treatment.' And that would be the triumphant scene, that moment, the epiphany, the big thing. And that moment is certainly..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Healing Our Culture

Is Learning the Hard Way the Only Way?
LockSimple

Apr 1, 2026

•

4 min read

Is Learning the Hard Way the Only Way?

Why we can't learn lessons for other people.

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

Pulling the Thread Podcast

Why It's Hard for Us to Actually Listen (Monthly Solo)
LockSimple

Mar 31, 2026

•

20 min read

Why It's Hard for Us to Actually Listen (Monthly Solo)

Listen now (

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen

On Relationships

+2

Are You Mad at Me? (Meg Josephson, LCSW)
LockSimple

Mar 26, 2026

•

33 min read

Are You Mad at Me? (Meg Josephson, LCSW)

Listen now (59 mins) | "That’s true for all of, I think, the fawn response, which is it keeps people at a distance. If we’re only showing people the most perfect curated version of ourselves..."

Elise Loehnen
Elise Loehnen
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