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Jennifer B. Wallace is a journalist, an author, and the founder of The Mattering Institute. I loved her new book, which is called Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.

The topic might sound a bit obvious at first, but I learned so much from it. Today, Jennifer shares the key ingredients to feeling like you matter, and to making others feel like they matter, too. We talk about how mattering gives us a language, and a practical way of meeting the needs in our lives that often go unmet.

Jennifer shares some of my favorite stories and stats from the book, along with the tools, habits, and small things she does in her own life to feel and share a sense of mattering—and to actually build in time for connection and friendship.

We talk about the importance of putting a bow on things; how we can use the mattering lens to approach life transitions; the benefits of ego extension; and something called “the beautiful mess effect.”

And, importantly, Jennifer explains how she’s approached what might be the hardest but most profound part of this, which is figuring out—how do I matter to myself?

Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose

Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It

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Jennifer’s Website

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