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Loretta J. Ross is an activist, professor, and public intellectual. In her five decades in the human rights movement, she’s de-programmed white supremacists, taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism, and organized the second-largest march on Washington.

Loretta was my second guest ever on Pulling the Thread and I was very eager to have her back to talk about her new book, Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You’d Rather Cancel.

Today, Loretta shares several things that were a big unlock for me.

For people like me, whose instinct is often to get into a battle when I perceive that someone is being wronged, Loretta shares an alternate approach: Instead of being in defense of the vulnerable, why not be in conversation with the ones causing the harm?

She shares what she’s learned from watching people be manipulated into hating, from taking their pain seriously, and from helping them to release it.

She talks about addressing our own cognitive dissonance; the guilt trip wires we carry internally; and learning to forgive ourselves for not knowing enough, not being enough, not caring enough.

And after everything she’s seen and experienced, she tells us why she refuses to end her belief in the goodness of people. And she shares her joy with us.

I’m so grateful for today’s conversation.

Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You’d Rather Cancel

Loretta’s Website & Courses

Follow Loretta on Instagram

Loretta’s First Episode on Pulling the Thread: “Calling in the Call-Out Culture”

ELISE:

We could have a philosophical conversation, surely about when the right time to publish this book is, and I wish we'd had it four years ago. And then also the timing of publication is quite stunning. I think maybe for people, a wider audience of people who are ready to listen to what you have to say.